Just a couple tidbits

 

                Greg and I started Tuesday night telling our families and friends.  We have just been overwhelmed by the love and well wishes that we have received from all of you.  Thank you all so very much.  In times like these I know that it is difficult to feel helpless.  Everyone wants and feels very much the need to do something to help.  I know it is crazy making to be told please just Pray.  Greg and I have a real peace right now with our current situation.  Since Monday I haven’t felt the need to go over all of my “what ifs;” I really feel like we have been cared for and I really feel like we will continue to be provided for.  Having gone through what I have this last week I am convinced that praying is actually the only thing that I or anyone else can do.  Do your best not to busy yourselves on our behalf.  I will just ask that when we are brought to your mind that you stop for a moment to pray.  Maybe write a few words in the comments or jot an email.  Greg is continuing to work for right now so it is difficult for him to take calls, but feel free to call me if you feel lead to do so.

            Here are a few specifics to pray for. 

1.        That we don’t lose sight of what was just shown to us.   Please pray that we don’t go back to our old way of thinking, planning or worrying about these last, and in comparison very small details.  That we don’t walk ahead in our minds to things that we have no control over.

 

-          We feel very much like God provided this huge miracle for us, please pray that we don’t lose the feeling of awe that we had on Monday night.  He provided a miracle not just with providing this particular Doctor, or even the confirmation of the diagnosis by a friend; but also with our moving here to begin with.  With the sale of our house that only took one month without a realtor.  That we didn’t jump right in to the purchase of another home here.  We now have immediate access to that money left over from the sale of our home in Iowa.  That we found an apartment that has zero maintenance for us. (I mean zero!!  They take our trash out every night, they change our like bulbs, and if we needed it there is even a cleaning service, really the list just goes on and on.)  He also provided us with family here like our friends Doug and Christi and my Aunt Jen and my Cousin Bryan.  The surgeon is able to get Greg in much sooner than we had originally thought.  Greg’s work is not going to penalize him for breaking contract.  Really detail after detail we have witnessed get pulled together and worked out.  Even still we unfortunately saw over the last few days how easy it is to be sucked back into the crazy.  Right now I don’t think I can handle anymore crazy!

 

2.       For all of our health. 

-          We were told to treat Greg as though he is immunocompromised.  So it is very important that we all stay in good health.  We are also to make sure that Greg gets plenty of sleep and plenty to eat.  He had lost several pounds over the last few months.  Under normal circumstances we would consider him to be at a great weight.  However, in light of our present circumstances it would be nice if he had a little more reserve.   Most importantly we need to keep the stress level down.  This one has been particularly hard over the last several days.  It is easy to see if the stress is out of hand then Greg won’t be sleeping or eating the way we need him to be and then his health will likely suffer. It is only natural that people will go through the same process of fear, grief, anger and an overwhelming sense of helplessness just as we did.  It is difficult for both Greg and I not to take other peoples fear, stress, grief or anger on ourselves.  It is so hard when you see someone you love going through such intense feelings of pain and not sit with them in it.  However if someone would have intervened in Greg and I’s journey I feel very much that we would have lost the blessing that was meant for us.  We found at the end of last week’s journey a most precious gift awaiting us, Peace.  To have presents of mind and a peaceful heart in the middle of this storm has been nothing short of miraculous.   

 

3.       That we allow ourselves and that others allow us to make decisions that best care for our family.  

-          This one is really tricky.  We desperately don’t want anyone to hurt or to feel hurt by us in the coming days; however we have come to realize that protecting others feeling may come at a cost to our own needs.  Neither of us knows how to proceed.  We don’t know how to nor do we feel comfortable drawing lines.  Monday night Greg and I just sat in awe as we looked at where we had been to where we are now.  In a month we started to develop as a family; and in a matter of days we have developed into a team, and a united front.   Something for years I have prayed and longed for.  I feel determined to fight for our family’s needs, but I crumble as I imagine the pain and wounds that will accompany those decisions.  Please pray for wisdom and sensitivity, also clear answers as we navigate through this particular field.

 

4.       Pray for both of our Families

-          As you can imagine they are going through a lot.  Please keep them in your prayers and if you have a chance to interact with them directly please take the time to encourage them. 

 

5.       Our children

-          We feel very strongly the need to shield our children from all of this.  We want this to be a happy time for them, and we want them to feel safe during this whole process.  Please pray that God keeps them sheltered.  Everett especially; he has a very tender heart like Greg.  He hears and sees everything and then tends to take them on himself.   Please pray that we can continue to shelter them from not only our anxiety, but also others.  Also we want to create good memories during this time before the surgery.  Please pray that Greg will physically know his limits.  My friend Christi gave Greg and I tickets to the diamondbacks game tomorrow night.  I know the kids will just have a blast, but I fear that Greg won’t tell me when he meets his limit.  Everett is on fall break from the 30^th to the 16^th so we want to fill this time with adventures and really just enjoy life with our new found family.  Pray that we will find things to build up our family that won’t also wear down Greg.

 

6.        Greg’s work

-          Greg continues to work and this makes me a little nervous.  I want him to pace himself and conserve his energy.  However this is something that he wants to do until he is told not to.  All of his Dr.’s have cleared him to work and drive, also his employer is aware of his condition.  I however got concerned when he returned home last night tired and clearly in a lot of pain.  Please pray that Greg will have the strength to continue to work if that is what he feels led to do. 

 

7.       That I will have the ability to ask for help if and when that time comes.

-          I know this will be a hard thing for me to do.  I hate being needy and have tried my whole life to not be the one in need.  I am now recognizing this as a bit of selfishness and pride that I need to be healed from.   I do believe that now with there being such an intense work being done on and in me and also being currently surrounded by so much love and support that I will feel safe in both the asking and in the receiving of aide.  I know again people feel the need to do, or provide us with something.  Let me now again assure you that all of our needs and wants are currently being met.  Although tired and sore, Greg has been able to work and also enjoy time with the kids and I.  I have felt so peaceful about the whole thing that I have been able to continue our normal household routine.  I feel emotionally and physically capable of caring for the house, kids and Greg when he needs it.  I feel comfortable receiving phone calls and answering any questions and have actually had fun catching up with my parents, sibling’s, family and friends. 

 

I am really doing well with not looking into the future; I am sure things will continue to come up, but I believe that I will receive the grace and help to handle it at that time.  If you still find yourself pressed to do something having meals during and after the surgery would be welcome.  Also mail for the kids would be wonderful.  They love getting letters and Everett is now an amazing little reader.  They both love stickers and crafts.  My dad will be staying with them at our apartment and I will stay at the hospital with Greg.  Our desire is to keep the kids and what is happening with Greg completely separate so receiving mail and little projects for them to do with Grandpa would be amazing.

  One more thing if someone is up for a challenge.  Both Greg and I have been craving Java Creeks Chicken Tortilla soup.  In the past I have been able to just buy the frozen product from them.  It is a frozen bag of soup packaged in a little box.  My mom tried to buy one from them the other day and they refused.  I was hoping to find out what companies makes the soup so I can order it here.  Those of you who have known me for any length of time know that the conversation will eventually always loop back to food.  I of course didn’t want to disappoint.

Thank you again for all of your continued prayers